Your First Mammogram
Oh gosh, this is funny! It doesn’t hurt me…but I have a couple of
friends
who swear that this would be true!!!
Your First Mammogram
Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to
worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam
and doing the following practice exercises, you will be totally prepared
for
the test, and best of all, you can do these simple practice exercises
right in your home.
EXERCISE 1:
Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast between the door and
the main box. Have one of your strongest friends slam the door shut as
hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that
position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn’t
effective enough.
EXERCISE 2:
Visit your garage at 3 AM when the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor
with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to
slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and
chilled.
Turn over and repeat for the other breast.
EXERCISE 3:
Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
stranger into the room. Press the frozen bookends against one
of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can.
Set an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again
You are now properly prepared.
Send this to all of the women you know and brighten their day!!
