I need some advice from the board. I have met up with a new single guy. We’ve been to one Friday dance at Prive we’ve met at a couple of Sunday dances. We also have been out on a regular date(which went very well).

So last night we decide to visit another club . This is what happened. He proved to me that single guys are all the same( sorry but I have to say that) you want a ticket into the club. Fine! I know that but when we get there don’t dump me to chat and be with some one else all night. Not once come over and check to see if I would like another drink or if I am o.k. Luckily I was with some true friends who I spent the evening with. But it was embarrassing cause other people noticed him all over this other women and said something to me. At that point I went over to him had a chat and said o.k what’s the scoope here? Are you taking me home or I am finding another ride home. He said lets play it by ear. He went home seperatly I think with this other women. Cause she left about the same time and he’d been with her all night.

Now I know what your about to say. But I’m giving up with these single guys that want in the lifestyle. Please treat us with respect this guy did not and I have had this problem before. How do get around that so it doesn’t hurt later? I thought this guy was different but he showed his true colours last night.

[This message has been edited by KitKat

Personally, I think if more clubs allowed single males in that there would be less of this kind of behaviour obviously as they wouldn't need a couple / female ticket to get into a club.

 

But honestly, you should have gone to him after the first half hour and said sorry I think it is time to leave, walked him out of the club and told him not to call you ever again and let him know how RUDE his behaviour was.  Then you could have gone back in the club and spent the night with the true friends that you found.

 

This is what more of us should do and then these guys might wake up!

 

 

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Perfect answer. Do walk out and if he refuses to leave talk to staff about him. Then go back in without him. I have taken several women for their first time visit to a club dance because they were nervous about going alone for the first time. We went as freinds with the understanding that she was free to meet other people. It always worked out well and at no time would I leave them sitting alone. That is just rude.

This post was edited by firebird at February 4, 2013 10:18:34 AM EST

I personally like to set the rules from the get go.  No matter whom I'm with, if they are interested in playing with someone else they must ask permission to do so. Allowing more single guys is a hard decision as it could easily scare newbies to the scene.  I had a gentleman contact me, asking about the lifestyle and what to expect.  I gave him a couple of choices as to what club to go to etc.  Reassuring him that he would love it.  He goes on a Friday night.  Get's comfortable on the couch with his date.  Decides to get her a drink.  Comes back horrified that 3 feet away 2 men were masterbating.  He ubruptly got up and left.  He happened to go on a single men allowed night and was not prepared to see this happen.  

I do agree that clubs should have a singles night for ladies and couples that want a single male. I also believe that in the last few years, There has been too little or no education for new single guys or couples either about the expected etiquette. The fact that two males decided it was OK to jerk off for a lady without asking permision is a clear indication of that. It used to be that single males had to behave and were taught that they had to ask permission to join anyone. Nobody tells them anything now and unforunatly staff doesn't police it very well either. ISadly, many couples do leave when bothered by unwanted singles rather than report them to staff. Many don't come back. Staff should be watching the dance floor for uneducated or just plain rude guys.There is always one or more at every dance now.

The problem is the Clubs that don't lay out the rules for the single men. When they do, there is rarely a problem.

 

We no lnger go to clubs that do the "Couples Only" thing, mainly because the most obnoxious men you will ever encounter are the married men who feel they are entitled to do as they like. A quick and quiet word will take care of any single men, and we have honestly never had a problem. But the partnered guys, especilly the ones who have had a few drinks, can be a real problem! They just won't listen, think they know it all, and should be able to do as they want as after all, they have a woman you can use! (something I was actually told). Many feel that the rules just don't apply to them.

 

After close to 30 years of Swinging, we have come to the conclusion that half the partnered men are, to put it bluntly, assholes! So many of the just creep us out!

Caroldanny, I couldn't agree more. In fact it literally just happened to us at our first "blind" hotel meet. Last time I do a blind meet anyway, lol. The clubs we attend usually have a Friday night, single men allowed policy, and there's never been a problem that I've seen. BTW, the hotel party thing was a one off by getting invited blind off another forum. If there are more of these type of get togethers, how does one get themselves on the invite list etc.??

This post was edited by Jrob17 at May 7, 2013 9:57:27 PM EDT