Just a little warning...... If I takes off my heels to chase you, then you better call the police while you still can.

You are so freaking funny. I come in here all the time looking for more.
Thanks, Ruthy

 Girl On Fire by Alicia Keyes would be a great theme song for a Vagisil commercial!

Today is going to be one of "those" days.  I can feel it.  Sometimes I wake up grumpy.....today I let him sleep in.  

At least I have something to be thankful for.  I would like to thank my boss for the job that gives me health insurance that covers my anxiety medication that I need to take because of this job.

I have sexdaily! I mean dyslexia, fcuk.

I know, I know.... The Harlem Shake thing is quite annoying.  But here is a better swing on it..... Enjoy

https://www.dropbox.com/s/17rrqe2oter7z60/Harlem%20Shake.mp4?m

 Why are there never any good side effects. Just once, I'd like to read a medication bottle that says "May Cause Multiple Orgasms"

This is a total train wreck.  Certainly don't want to offend anyone.  Thought I would share here...

https://www.dropbox.com/s/jlev3msyth60oar/The%20Trainwreck%20of%20all%20Trainwrecks.mp4

Let me know your thoughts.

We have known Paul (Max Hardcore) for years! The man really is crazy! When we are at conventions, we try and stay away from him ;)

Who came up with the brilliant idea of moving the clocks forward on the weekend...in the middle of the night?? Why not move them ahead on a Friday around 4PM?

It's a man's job to respect a woman. But, it's a woman's job to give him something to respect...

I tried ordering one of Justin Bieber's CDs for my niece's birthday on Amazon. Amazon said "costumers who bought this also bought a rope and a stool."

 Guys If a Woman shaves hers Legs she wants you to touch them..... You just have to make sure she knows you.

So there are teenagers out there that have unprotected sex, but yet have cases on their phones. Just let that sink in for a minute....

Top 10 porn search words in the world........ go figure

http://www.alternet.org/sex-amp-relationships/revealed-10-most-popular-porn-searches-america-and-world

Hmmmm.. I think they left out the best one.. Latex & Leather!

I was at Oasis on Friday night.  What a night.  Anyone from CP there?  If you don't feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend... you're not doing it right.

A hard-on doesn't count as personal growth.

Thought I would share this with you for a morning smile.  Came accross this a couple of years ago in the infamous "Dear Abby column"

Enjoy......

Dear Abby: 

I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month. 
My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and 
understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited
me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a
bit beyond what we had expected it to be. When I got to her place, we 
reviewed the list and trimmed it down to just under a hundred... then
she floored me. She said that in a month I would be a married man and 
that before that happened, she wanted to have sex with me. 

Then she just stood up and walked to her bedroom and on her way said
that I knew where the front door was if I wanted to leave. I stood
there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew exactly
how to deal with this situation. 

I headed straight out the front door............... 
There, leaning against my car, was her husband, my father-in-law to be.
He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a 
good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and
he congratulated me on passing their little test. Abby, should I tell
my fiancee what her parents did, and that I thought their "little test" 
was asinine and insulting to my character?

Or should I keep the whole thing to myself, including the fact that the 
reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom? 

Signed, 

Confused

Men..........If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she won't be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy.

http://img.pr0gramm.com/2013/04/6958-ffc9-500.gif

I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He's in a better place now."

MsBehaved13 said:

It's a man's job to respect a woman. But, it's a woman's job to give him something to respect...

Love the muse, made me chuckle. 

MsBehaved13 said:

So there are teenagers out there that have unprotected sex, but yet have cases on their phones. Just let that sink in for a minute....

Priorities!

If you see anything posted from me that involves something normal or appropriate,, it is not me. I believe I've been hacked.

I'm learning how to let things go, one throat at a time.

Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this NFL Draft thing...

I'm running low on funny but I have plenty of sexy left.

If I work up the courage to tell you I love you...the least you can do is introduce yourself to me dammit.

Perfect Match
They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a Chiropractor and she’s a pain in the neck.
.
They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a funny old goat and she’s a great kidder.
.
They’re a perfect match. . . He doesn’t have a dollar and she has no sense.
.
They’re a perfect match. . . He sells balloons for a living and she’s full of hot air.
.
They’re a perfect match. . . He’s bow-legged and she’s straight as an arrow.
.
They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a Geologist and she’s got rocks in her head.
.
They’re a perfect match. . . She’s a Math teacher and he’s a guy with a lot of problems.
.
They’re a perfect match. . . He’s a night watchman and she’s never worked a day in her life.
.
They’re a perfect match. . . She’s a Geometry teacher and he knows all the angles.

 First rule of cuddle club: It better lead to sex or you're out of the cuddle club.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AfGDKCDLGs4&feature=youtu.be

This is alot of fun to do.

At home just relaxing and watching tv. The Sleep Number bed commercial came on and the spokeswoman asked "So what's YOUR sleep number?" I looked at my drink and thought "40 proof."

I think I may know this women's brother.....

http://www.buzzfeed.com/hgrant/this-is-what-crazy-looks-like-via-text-messaging   

Hugh Hefner- 87 years old, has 27 years old wife. Berlusconi -77 years old, has a 27 years old girlfriend. Maradona- 52 years old, has a 22 years old girlfriend. Moral : Guys don't worry that you don't have a girlfriend or wife, your's probably isn't born yet.

Ever notice ghetto people are always naming their kids after stuff they cant afford: Mercedes, Diamond, Bentley, Pearl, Light Bill, Rent, Car Insurance.

Thanks, Michael Douglas, for ruining the ONLY time men are not worrying about cancer.

http://www.ctvnews.ca/health/oral-sex-caused-my-throat-cancer-michael-douglas-1.1308306

My idea of a blind date is NOT removing your blind fold.