…blonde jokes can we post? Short or long add yours to the list and see just how many we can find!

 

A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Montreal and I’m staying right here.”

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won’t move back to her seat. The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave and return to her seat. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to Montreal and I’m staying right here.”

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won’t listen to reason. The pilot says, “I’ll handle this. I’m married to a blonde. I have learned to speak ‘blonde.”

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and without question she gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section. The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss. “I told her First Class isn’t going to Montreal.

 

” A blond goes into the library – walks up to the librarian and yells “I’ll have a hamburger and fries’ … the librarian looks at her and says ‘emmm, this is a library’ …. the blond looks a little confused, and apologetic … leans over and whispers ever so quietly ‘ohhh sorry, can I have a milkshake with that too’

 

One liners.

The American Dental Association says semen cuts plaque and tartar by 77%. Suck a dick and save a smile…

 

If u have sex 365 times a yr and u melted down all the condoms 2 make a tire what would u call it? a fuckin goodyear!

 

Sex is like playing spades. If u don’t have a good partner, u better have a good hand.

 

Big Bad Wolf told lil red riding hood lift ur top so i can suck ur tits. no, she said while lifting her skirt, eat me like the fuckin book says!

 

A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. the cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The cat said, a wet pussy always makes a cock happy!

 

Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.

This post was edited by Deleted Member at April 26, 2013 10:07:49 AM EDT

Eleven people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope, suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest.

Ten were blonde, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one of the party should let go. If that didn’t happen the rope would break and everyone would
perish.

 

For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered. Finally the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would
sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.

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The blondes applauded

This post was edited by Deleted Member at April 28, 2013 12:40:43 PM EDT

What do u call a brunette standing between 2 blonde’s?

– an interpreter.

_______________________________________________

Why do blonde’s wear panties?

– to keep their ankles warm.

 

 

You all know the rest…

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams

Women complain about pre-menstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
-Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
-Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
-Jay Leno

There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say
they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?
-Jay Leno

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
-Elayne Boosler

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
-Johnny Carson

The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have
fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
-Jeff Foxworthy

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
-Robin Williams

The blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don’t sell bottom deodorant, and never have.

 

Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would
like some more.

 

“I’m sorry,” says the pharmacist, “we don’t have any.”

 

“But I always get it here,” says the blonde.

 

“Do you have the container it comes in?”

 

“Yes!” said the blonde, “I will go and get it.”

 

She returns with the container and hands it to the chemist who looks at it and says to her, “This is just a normal stick of
underarm deodorant.”

 

The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container, “To apply, push up bottom.”