Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
-Robin Williams

Women complain about pre-menstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself.
-Roseanne

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.
-Billy Crystal

According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women
are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful.
-Jay Leno

There’s a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say
they cause severe swelling. So what’s the problem?
-Jay Leno

When the sun comes up, I have morals again.
-Elayne Boosler

Instead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
-Johnny Carson

The problem with the designated driver program, it’s not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have
fun with it. At the end of the night, drop them off at the wrong house.
-Jeff Foxworthy

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
-Robin Williams