Becoming Self-Aware: My Kink is Risk
I've always known that I liked a bit of risk mixed in with my play. Not the "it's all fun and games until somebody looses an eye" sort of risk - nobody gets hurt (unless they like it like that). It's the "I'm SO going to get Busted!" risk that gets me going. Some of the games I've played are a good example:
• Lying naked in the park in broad daylight, waiting while my partner quietly approaches from behind,
never looking back to confirm that it was really him.• Slipping out between sets on karaoke night for a quickie in the parking lot,
the outdoor patio well populated and close by.• Rendezvous at the local pub where the rest rooms are discretely hidden away from the main bar area.
I don't intend to get caught but there is a chance that it could happen. And heaven forbid it was a cop that found us misbehaving in public like that! (unless it's the cop l like to play with - hehehe)
But it's even more subtle than that. I do small things that could result in my "getting caught: I keep the receipts from adult purchases. My lingerie frequently peeks out in some sort of fashion. I use a fair bit of suggestive language - I do so love innuendo.
My most recent risk play; I was at the pub with my laptop. The screen was dimmed so that you would have to be directly in front of it to see any detail. I turned on a private browsing window. I checked email and surfed over to a few adult sites. I minimized these windows so that only the top right login panel in the corner was exposed and then slid the panel off the side of my desk top to hide branding and profile icons while still being able to access messages.
I glanced sideways a few times to confirm that the man sitting beside me was engrossed in the football game that played on the overhead flat screens. A nice guy - he's flirted with me a time or two but politely as is appropriate for a public setting. I closed up the social sites and surfed over to something a little more mundane.
A short while later he started conversing with me. It started out casual with a few flirty words thrown in for good sport. But then he leaned in a little closer and whispered, "I'm on the same websites."
Oh! For Pete's sake! I've done outted myself again!
I'm glad I did. Besides the fact that I enjoy his company, he also frequents the same establishment where I often go to let my hair down. I'm surpassed we haven't run into each other there before now, and I'm glad we haven't - that would have just been plain awkward.
My kink: taking chances that may result in my getting caught. I like it. And now that I've finally recognized it for what it is, I really aught to be more careful (but I probably won't).
This post was edited by FanOfChad at September 9, 2013 9:04:38 AM EDT