We were all new to this at one time. That first step is the hardest but need not be complicated. You've already decided, alone or together, that you want to at least take a peek into the lifestyle to see if it is for you.

The next question to ask is what your comfort level is. Do you like a lifestyle bar scene or a more intimate setting or a one-on-one meeting (or two on one or two on two or whatever...lol)? One easy and less intimidating way is to simply post a picture of yourself on here and sort through the replies. Men....we know you have a dick. Women like a face picture, too. Trust me, you will get more replies to a non-dick pic. You will have lots of opportunity later to show them the that. Then it is all up to you and the people you meet. Sometime, what happens just happens and no one can instruct you on it. I can't tell you how to make the first move, although I have been notorious for getting a party started on occasion . Remember, those you are with want the same thing as you do.

I find that one of the easiest ways to signal someone that you are open to the start of some play is to simply sit closer to the them and place a hand on theirs or on their thigh. It is amazing to feel a person relax under your touch, which signals they are open to slightly more. If you are part of a couple, the excitement at seeing your partner initiate the play can make it easier for them to start in as well. Soon it becomes contagious and, well, things start to heat up pretty fast!

Don't be afraid. This is the most fun you will ever have! I look back on my 15 years of swinging (yes, I still like calling it that) as some of the best of my life.

As always, No Means No. But you will more likely be saying plenty of "Yes.Yes.Yes" (along with a lot of "Oh, god"!)

This post was edited by Sandra at March 3, 2013 2:45:18 AM EST

I get excited just thinking about putting my hand on a strangers thigh. What a hot way to get to know someone, sexually of course.

My experience and advice in this lifestyle to newbies is always this. Whether you are alone or starting out as a couple ALWAYS be true to yourself and communicate. Also.. Meet and Greets are always a great low pressure way of asking a lot of questions to a lot of experienced people. A not on premise place for people to mingle and talk and you know they are there for the the same reasons you are. No guess work.  Listen to what they have to say and go with your instinct.. it is usually right. 

 

Couples - If you are exploring the possiblity of going to a club or house party establish boundries and rules. Something you are both comfortable with. Like.. We are just going to watch and make out with each other. Then next tme maybe a little soft swap only... meaning just a lot of touchy feely, finger and maybe even a little oral but no full blown insertion sex with other people in the same room. See how you feel about it and communicate and for gawd sakes LISTEN!!! Always respect and abide by the boundries that you and your partner have made for each other. After all... I truly believe although man kind was not designed and hardwired to be monogomous sexually we were defiently designed to be monogomous emotionally to our mate.

 

Ladies - If your starting out for the first time it can always be a little intimdating going into an environment like that. But remember these people have been doing this for awhile and they don't want to scare you off. They will respect your boundries. If they don't.. your not at the right party and get the hell out of there. Again go with your insticts. They are there for a reason. But don't confuse excitement with Flight or Fight either. When mingling do not be afraid to tell people this is your first rodeo. Most people will take you under their wing and take it slow and never go past your comfort level. Let them know what your curious about and what you would like to see or try. They will be more then accomadating. You are after all the center of attention most times at these parties. And if your bi-friendly OMG you are the elusive Unicorn! A term coined by this community as a Single Bi - friendly female in the lifestyle. Why?! Because we are almost non exsistant. Almost mythical like the Unicorn itself!

 

Guys - Yeah well single guys in this lifestyle I am afraid to say are just the opposite to a single lady in the lifestyle.. more like the dreaded Plague! Which is really a shame because I know a lot of single guys in the lifestyle who know what it is about and are not just there to get their rocks off and rude and inconsiderate like a bunch of horny teenaged horn dogs. My advice to single men who want to get into the lifestyle... find yourself a sponser.  This means finding a single female (Unicorn, yeah good luck with that...lol) or more likely a couple looking for another male for some MFM fun. Once these people trust you enough and get to know you then you can approch them about taking you to a club or house party. Most clubs and house parties will accept single men (usually at the couples donation fee price) as long as they are sponsered. This is an assurance to the host of the club or party that if you become inappropriate that the sponser will be held responsible and usually banned along with yourself if you do. Harsh I know but a fact of life in this lifestyle I'm afraid. You can also look to join some Gang Bang groups or Fantasy fulfill groups who are sometime looking to fill an open position in their group as well. 

Hi all :) New here... sorry if posted in wrong forum