Hmmm Ok I think it is time to close this post off and then take some time to cum up with, err sorry come up with a new subject.

Hmmm Ok I think it is time to close this ine off and then take some time to cum up with, err sorry come up with a new subject.

LOL you are so right 

Hopefully that cycle will be yours, this big old world is sure off tilt. I still believe that if the government can figure out how to tax having a fantastic wet and slippery time we are all done.

Hey Cbandit

I so hear you on the players and sane people..... we have had our share of both......  I am hoping this time around we have the sane people cycle.....   

Chat soon

M and T 

Hey M & T thanks for stopping by and talking to us about what and how you go into it. Now you sound like it was a great and a positive thing for the both of you. Fantastic, and I hear you about the need for a very strong bond between you and your other. I have personally seen too many couples go the way of the DoDo Bird because of the lifestyle, and I do stress that to anyone of my friends that wants and asks about it. We too took time off, to many of lifes stresses and daily family duties. That and way too many players, seems like a cycle that they mate like bunnies and come out of the woodwork. Then after awhile you get mostly sane people back

We got introduced to the lifestyle by one of our friends, we attended adult lifestyle clubs with them, and after a few visits we decided we wanted to "try it out" it has brought us closer then ever, we communicate more, not just about the lifestyle but about everyday life. Over all the lifestyle as met our expectations, and specking of expectations, when we go out to club events and parties, we go without any expectations of something happening, if we meet people and something happens great if not, there is always next weekend... I would recommend the lifestyle to anyone who is not the jealous type and in a strong committed relationship. If you are entering the life style to fix something this is not the forum to do it in. We have been in the life style about 10 yrs now, the last 3 yrs we took some time off, now we are back.

 P.S we have been married for 21 yrs

M and T

Well Debilynn we do, and the more pleasure the better. Though unfortunately life gets in the way. I thank you for your input.....

i feel as life goes on we search out new and exciting things for our pleasuer!

Time for a poll of sorts, everyone is invited to play. So now that I may or may not have your attention let me ask you this. How did you get involved in this lifestyle choice? Was it by an ex,present spouse, or just decided that you wanted to go and see if all these 'Swingers" were indeed real? Ok single guys wait your turn, I know probably within a shadow of a doubt why you went .. So the questions are 1-Why did you get into. 2-Has it met all your expectations. and 3 Would you recommend it to someone else? Ok single guys you can now answer. Ok and to further pop your bubbles, not everyone is a "Ken & Barbie"type The vast of number of lifestylers are "NORMAL" people that want to expand their circle of friends, and add some Zing. So if that is why you joined this fantastic group then I suggest you share whatever you are smoking so we all can enjoy. Looking forward to all your replies.......

I do agree that clubs should have a singles night for ladies and couples that want a single male. I also believe that in the last few years, There has been too little or no education for new single guys or couples either about the expected etiquette. The fact that two males decided it was OK to jerk off for a lady without asking permision is a clear indication of that. It used to be that single males had to behave and were taught that they had to ask permission to join anyone. Nobody tells them anything now and unforunatly staff doesn't police it very well either. ISadly, many couples do leave when bothered by unwanted singles rather than report them to staff. Many don't come back. Staff should be watching the dance floor for uneducated or just plain rude guys.There is always one or more at every dance now.

I personally like to set the rules from the get go.  No matter whom I'm with, if they are interested in playing with someone else they must ask permission to do so. Allowing more single guys is a hard decision as it could easily scare newbies to the scene.  I had a gentleman contact me, asking about the lifestyle and what to expect.  I gave him a couple of choices as to what club to go to etc.  Reassuring him that he would love it.  He goes on a Friday night.  Get's comfortable on the couch with his date.  Decides to get her a drink.  Comes back horrified that 3 feet away 2 men were masterbating.  He ubruptly got up and left.  He happened to go on a single men allowed night and was not prepared to see this happen.  

Perfect answer. Do walk out and if he refuses to leave talk to staff about him. Then go back in without him. I have taken several women for their first time visit to a club dance because they were nervous about going alone for the first time. We went as freinds with the understanding that she was free to meet other people. It always worked out well and at no time would I leave them sitting alone. That is just rude.

Personally, I think if more clubs allowed single males in that there would be less of this kind of behaviour obviously as they wouldn't need a couple / female ticket to get into a club.

But honestly, you should have gone to him after the first half hour and said sorry I think it is time to leave, walked him out of the club and told him not to call you ever again and let him know how RUDE his behaviour was.  Then you could have gone back in the club and spent the night with the true friends that you found.

This is what more of us should do and then these guys might wake up!

I need some advice from the board. I have met up with a new single guy. We’ve been to one Friday dance at Prive we’ve met at a couple of Sunday dances. We also have been out on a regular date(which went very well).

So last night we decide to visit another club . This is what happened. He proved to me that single guys are all the same( sorry but I have to say that) you want a ticket into the club. Fine! I know that but when we get there don’t dump me to chat and be with some one else all night. Not once come over and check to see if I would like another drink or if I am o.k. Luckily I was with some true friends who I spent the evening with. But it was embarrassing cause other people noticed him all over this other women and said something to me. At that point I went over to him had a chat and said o.k what’s the scoope here? Are you taking me home or I am finding another ride home. He said lets play it by ear. He went home seperatly I think with this other women. Cause she left about the same time and he’d been with her all night.

Now I know what your about to say. But I’m giving up with these single guys that want in the lifestyle. Please treat us with respect this guy did not and I have had this problem before. How do get around that so it doesn’t hurt later? I thought this guy was different but he showed his true colours last night.

[This message has been edited by KitKat

Well you can define swinger in most of the ways you want, after all we seem to take great pride in making the English language our own. So lets look at what a dictionary calls it

SWINGER

6.the activity or act of a person who swings.

7Slang the act or practice of being free and uninhibited sexually.

b.the exchanging of spouses for sex.

So technically singles, couples all apply. free and uninhibited sexually or hang from and swing..Now I don't know about most of the guys in here or else where, but on my best day, and I mean best could you swing on my woody. One hand maybe, but two not a chance. SO , crap back to the subject at hand.. I say singles, whether they are male or female, together,apart, with someone else, or their own sex, if you talk to, or go somewhere that you know an activity is going to take place. Makes you that at a given moment what ever you want to be, as long as it is consensual,legal age, and for the most part enjoyable.

My opinion though.....

Sandra

I don't understand your reasoning.

Swingers can be couples(married or not) or singles.

Assuming swingers like to trade partners for sex, whether thry are coupled or single shouldn't disqualify them from being a swinger.

I have never viewed singles as swingers. Consider this....virtually every single male would be hard pressed to turn down an opportunity for no strings attached sex. Therefore do we call all single men swingers? I think not. They are guys doing what guys do....LOOK FOR SEX. Any way, any how. They view a swingers club as a shortcut around all the bullshit they encounter at a "regular" club. The mindset is, they know people are there specificially for sex so why not tap into the possibilities. They are not swingers. They are opportunists.

Single women? I have no idea why they would bother given that they can go to ANY club on any night and hook up just as easily or post an ad on numerous sites out there with almost instant and copious results.

IMHO only couples can be labelled 'swingers'. All others are like the extras on a movie set. Background decor that enhances the experience if needed.

cbandit,

Well said. 

Mindset is the most important part of this lifestyle, unfortunately some of the "singles" that I have encountered in my travels are not single. Hell spontaneous is a great thing, but not when the spouse shows up because the "single" has decided to not be up front. I guess what I am saying is that you yourself have to be the best judge of who you choose to be "friendly" with. I like to get to know most people first, otherwise you can and sometimes do get a very rude awakening.

 But are those two"singles" together for just that night, are they always together.

I don't need to know too much about their relationship, just their mindset. For me it's a fun & spontaneous  adventure. But I know there are couples who do have a check list & it makes them feel more comfortable.

Hello Cookie, and btw I love cookies, errr sorry getting off topic, so on that note. Yes you are right 2 singles make a couple. But are those two"singles" together for just that night, are they always together. 3,4 moresomes are by far fantastic nights (Been there done that and got two T-Shirts a ball cap crap there I go again...now back to it!)The parties that I have known and talked to all pretty much agree lust is one game, love is another, and no matter how you look at it, two kind of friends, two good friends, bi,tri, or hitched will always enjoy that night. Though the game wears off quick for some. My mate and I have been together over 27 years and we still love and lust. Mind you  things hurt more now then they did before, and I do not mean your goodies from over use. Married couples can be singles,depends on their desires or kinks. Some friends can want to be couples. I guess what I am saying is that when you are a "swinger" it takes two to tango,boogie, get down and all those other cliches. What ever you do, play safe, enjoy and remember a night of fun,is not worth a life time of none.

 Singles become couples & couples become singles.

Regardless of their status, couples & singles add lots of sexual energy for each other.

Do the math, last time I checked 2 singles make a couple & 3 people make a 3-Some which can be a lot of fun too.

So now tell me just who is the swinger who is the single? ;)

Hey John thanks for that thought, you aren't wrong about the couples and love for each other. Takes a lot of love and trust to become a lifestyler. Though I think once you get to know quite a few of your fellow swingers that they if they are married are looking for more, a lust night if you will.No worries,no stress, just let loose and enjoy the hell out of it. But thanks for your opinion, everyone is welcome to theirs. What does everyone else think?

I believe a swinger is neither a single or couple. A swinger is someone whether it be male, female, or couple who likes sex, pure and simple sex. I myself am single, and bi and like sex with either male or female or both. A couple who has sex usually does it for love, whether it is a male male, female female or a male female couple. Just my opinion.

Are singles involved in this lifestyle "Swingers" Are two people acting as a couple swingers, well this is what I believe. I have been in this"lifestyle" for over 20 years.(Yep that makes me old, but it also makes me mature.) I know and personally have met many singles that indulge/partake in this way of life. Now of those people you can pretty much tell that they only want one thing, besides the obvious signs, drooling, hard and heavy breathing, and glossy eyes. Oh wait that is after the evenings fun and frolic. The best answer is, you have to decide yourself. If you want the third do you play email tag, wait for ever or take the chance. We all need to start some where and it takes quite a leap of faith to even allow another person to join you. So I say that if you have decided that they are "right" and will fit the part (sorry I know that sounds so droll)then they are swingers at that time. Does it make a difference if they are male or female, shouldn't because both sexes can be brain dead idiots. The choice is yours, but what ever you decide, play safe and be safe.

nuff said.

CB

I have been in the lifestyle for 8+ years now and must admit that I am currently "a single female". I do believe that just because I am now currently single looking for a mate that I shouldn't be tossed out or ostracized from the lifestyle community.

I am for obvious reasons looking for a mate who is "lifestyle friendly" and therefore what better place to find such a mate then in the lifestyle community.

I do understand and can appreciate that not all people who present themselves as "singles" are indeed single and it is a shame that they are able to gain access to the lifestyle so easily but we shouldn't penalize all "singles" for the misrepresentation of some!

I also firmly believe that just as most couples love and adore single females so are there couples who love and adore single males. So "live and let live" is my favorite saying when it comes to the topic of singles.

Can a single (woman or the many single men who have made their way into the lifestyle) really be considered to be true swingers?

Over the course of the past few years, at many U.S., and now Canadian Lifestyle clubs, single men have been invited to join as full fledged members.

Personally, I don’t consider these singles as swingers. As a matter of fact, I know of a single gentleman, a member, who has a girlfriend who knows nothing of his involvement … and by his design he plans to keep it that way. He’s just in it for sex. Anything wrong with that?

Are singles really swingers? Not in my view. How about yours?

I’ll be Honest we have always been …
Well couples looking for couples…

Call us old school but we always figured it was an even trade…

Hey, Its works for us ,
(its always been what works for us)
and well, We are going to stick with what works for us…

Swinging has always been about what works for you…

It all depends on what your looking for…?

There is the couple thing, there is the adding a single thing, there is singles hooking up to
be a couple too swing… the variations are infinite but it all comes down too…

“What do you want”
If you are honest, you’ll probably find it…

We been chatting with BigSmokingSwingle
for over a year and we can say Great Choice
to run a singles perspective of club-prive

Big smoke has always been honest…
(not saying I always agree) lol
But honest, trustworthy and We’d call him
a friend…