DavidMuller you are right! I m agreed  with you. honesty is a real gift of Bangalore escort  i don,t think they are cheated any persone in so you call her a friend . :)

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Hi all, from reading these forums and from general searching, there is, at least that I can find, a very small pool of information for the "newbie" to the lifestyle. Which is a shame and makes me wonder, how many would dive into a bigger pool of info? Perhaps I'dve asked the below questions earlier in life!

If I missed posting info that retains to any of the questions, feel free to ask. Hell, feel free to ask anyway!

Ok:

My wife is 25, I am 38, would we be in the average age range in the Toronto scene?

Where is, in your opinion, the better places to go to start exposing ourselves (giggle) to new experiences? A particular club etc?

Is there a forum/notice board elsewhere that advertises? (ive written that badly, I'm meaning similar to CL personals or better preferably)

How private, is private generally?

Are we expected to "click into place" in most circles or are people generally helpful in explaining the do's and dont's?

What would you avoid as a first timer looking back?

Thanks for reading everyone, I look forward to any and all replies.

WiC

Sandra, answer is B & C, Not afraid of what her body craves and definetly a breath of fresh air. She is just being honest about her feelings.

I have known many women that have a very strong sex drive. Many women are still very intimidated by a society that labels

men and women differntly and that is getting better but a long way to go in the vanilla world. A man that has sex with many

 women is still a hero among men but a woman that has sex with many partners is still ridiculed as a slut or other undesirable

names by the vanilla world. It is wrong but it is still an issue for many women. Most women are taught to hide or supress their sexual feeling

 from a very young age. The lifestyle is one of the very few places that women can be honest about their sexual desires.

 If men and women were treated as sexual equals, the lifestyle would not be necessary. It is getting better but still a long way to go.

DavidMuller you are right! I agree with you. Womens hide her sexual drive. As a manchester escort i understand the sexual feelings of girls and boys. I buildup sexual relationship lots in my life. 

Sandra you are so wrong about that. Actually it has been reported that a woman's sex drive is way, way stronger than a man's. Women just tend to hide their sex drive more than men do.

We all hear that a man's sex drive is way stronger than a womans and witnessing any website geared to sex, it is blatantly evident. So....what makes the rare woman who delves into the swingers world different? Is she hypersexual? A breath of fresh air? Or just someone who is not afraid of what her body craves?

Just read the same story on another site.

Maybe men thrust their dick in someone's face just to turn themselves on. Could it be as simple as their just interested in pleasing themselves.Maybe they are just doing it for their own kicks.

I agree. If I open a profile and only see a pussy shot and nothing else, I will not read any more. I like woman as a package deal. Not just a pussy.

Dick pics, and why girls need to shut the fuck up: a rebuttal. (an article I found elsewhere)

She had 4 points:
1.) Some women like penis pic profiles. You’re not speaking for everyone when you share your opinion. – True, it is just opinions we’re sharing here.
2.) Don’t make fun just because they “put it out there”. How’d you like it if they made fun of your pimple since you “put it out there”? – Valid, we should all be polite anyway.
3.) Women put images of themselves out there in sexy attire all the time. Why shouldn’t a man post his most prized asset? – That’s a stretch. It’s rare indeed to see a pussy profile icon.
4.) If you don’t like it, don’t click on it. – I don’t and wouldn’t, but I don’t get to pick and choose who messages me.

It's not that penises aren't a thing of beauty. I love to touch them, pet them and wrap my little fingers around their girth. I like to smell them, nuzzle them and cover them in kisses. I can hardly contain myself with the anticipation of going down and gobbling them up when I'm with... MY PARTNERS.

So I'm a the club last night, minding my own business, sitting back on a sofa in a lace body stocking, enjoying the show as a woman got treated to a stern flogging... I just happened to glance sideways. This guy had decided to stand behind that same couch and jerk off to the show just inches from my ear! Are you freaking kidding me? Faaaauuuck. I'm sure it was a perfectly lovely cock attached to a reasonably attractive man, but it was still an uninvited dick shoved in my face (or near vicinity) and that's just plain offensive.

I know we're not supposed to judge but that's simply part of being human. We all have different tastes and preferences and it's in our nature to "read someone" at a glance. Of course those opinions change (or are confirmed) as we spend a bit of time getting to know each other, but until then, you only get one chance to make a good first impression.

When I get a cold contact, even a nice "how do you do?", and that profile icon is nothing but a disembodied boner... well, the feeling I get is not so different from finding some weirdo wanking his wiener over my shoulder. I try to push those feelings of misgiving aside and give the new caller a second chance by surfing over to his profile page to see if he has any redeeming qualities, but invariably it's a minimal one line bio. If there are more pictures, it's just more of the same meat puppet show, sometimes pared with pussy to emphasize his heterality.

Now, don't get me wrong. If I snoop a man's well rounded profile and there happens to be a few good penis portraits in his album, well that's nice. I get to see the whole package (the man, not just his package - geesh) and perhaps anticipate an intimate encounter as we become more familiar.

Phallic photos don't offend me. A plethora of pecker icons in my mail box puts me off. On the other hand, it makes it really easy to weed out the pricks. Just for the record, if my mailbox was filled with a daily dose of nasty snatch shots I'm pretty sure I'd they'd annoy the crap out of me too.

Hey, I know! Lets all post pictures of our uvula! Mmmm... uvula - all wet, plump and deliciously pendulous. Won't that be a sexy, sexy, instant turn on!

I've always known that I liked a bit of risk mixed in with my play. Not the "it's all fun and games until somebody looses an eye" sort of risk - nobody gets hurt (unless they like it like that). It's the "I'm SO going to get Busted!" risk that gets me going. Some of the games I've played are a good example:

• Lying naked in the park in broad daylight, waiting while my partner quietly approaches from behind,
never looking back to confirm that it was really him.

• Slipping out between sets on karaoke night for a quickie in the parking lot,
the outdoor patio well populated and close by.

• Rendezvous at the local pub where the rest rooms are discretely hidden away from the main bar area.

I don't intend to get caught but there is a chance that it could happen. And heaven forbid it was a cop that found us misbehaving in public like that! (unless it's the cop l like to play with - hehehe)

But it's even more subtle than that. I do small things that could result in my "getting caught: I keep the receipts from adult purchases. My lingerie frequently peeks out in some sort of fashion. I use a fair bit of suggestive language - I do so love innuendo.

My most recent risk play; I was at the pub with my laptop. The screen was dimmed so that you would have to be directly in front of it to see any detail. I turned on a private browsing window. I checked email and surfed over to a few adult sites. I minimized these windows so that only the top right login panel in the corner was exposed and then slid the panel off the side of my desk top to hide branding and profile icons while still being able to access messages.

I glanced sideways a few times to confirm that the man sitting beside me was engrossed in the football game that played on the overhead flat screens. A nice guy - he's flirted with me a time or two but politely as is appropriate for a public setting. I closed up the social sites and surfed over to something a little more mundane.

A short while later he started conversing with me. It started out casual with a few flirty words thrown in for good sport. But then he leaned in a little closer and whispered, "I'm on the same websites."

Oh! For Pete's sake! I've done outted myself again!

I'm glad I did. Besides the fact that I enjoy his company, he also frequents the same establishment where I often go to let my hair down. I'm surpassed we haven't run into each other there before now, and I'm glad we haven't - that would have just been plain awkward.

My kink: taking chances that may result in my getting caught. I like it. And now that I've finally recognized it for what it is, I really aught to be more careful (but I probably won't).

Yes, but as a virgin your heart must have been pumping madly, not to mention everything else. It's not so much as what you did, as the feelings of excitement that ran through your veins. Please share those feelings.

It happened 15 years ago. The details have faded somewhat in my memory. I was very inexperienced since I had only been with one man before him, being the good Catholic girl that I was. Given that I have been with dozens of men since then (OK...maybe 50+) the encounter details seem lame. I've been to all kinds of orgies, couple meet ups, mmf's, ffm's and even dabbled in fetish bdsm. What I did with that tall, dark stranger is nothing by comparison.

Please include the juicy details.
You've got our attention.

Been away from it for so long, I barely know how to put it into words. LOL

Oh. . . And isn't one of the main reasons that you are here, is to deal with your own sexuality.

You met several times in hotel rooms around the GTA for some "RELAXATION"

What did you two do, play checkers? Or do the NYT crossword puzzle?

C'mon woman this is an adult web site you can use real words and real descriptions.

Maybe, your reluctance to say fuck, piss, shit, pussy, dick, cock. . . Is the reason that you feel undesired (as you mentioned in another thread) unwanted, unsexed, undesired.

If it is true that how you feel about yourself is how you are seen by the world. You just gotta think about that for a minit.

No. Not into doing stuff behind my husbands back. BUT...the person mentioned in the above post who did the random calling thing was someone I did engage in some exciting times with.We arranged via email to meet at a specific location. Remember, there was limited ability to exchange photos ahead of time in the late 90's so I had no idea what was showing up. I sat in my car and waited. Someone pulled up beside me in a car that matched the description of the car he had said he would be driving. I looked over and...thank goodness! He was very good looking. Now, get this straight. This happened between me leaving my ex hubby and being in a committed relationship of any sort. Looking back it was very, very risque as so few people were connecting via the internet, unlike today.

We met several times in hotel rooms around the GTA for some "relaxation".

So did you do something about this chance encounter?

The other day I found a random note in one of my Facebook "other" folders (bet you did not know that existed...read the note at the end for where it is).

It was a very heartfelt note from a 56 year old,single man. As you may be aware, on Facebook, they will post pictures from other people's pages of their friends on this revolving list. He had seen my picture and decided to throw caution to the wind in the event I was available...a fact he could have found out by simply reading my profile.

I messaged him back and simply told him "Sorry, I am married".

Now, this begs the question....how successful could this approach be? If you throw enough peas at a wall, some will stick, as they say. Does anyone reading this have any interesting stories to recollect about randomly picking up someone via this or a similar approach?

Years ago, before the internet, cell phones, etc. I knew someone who did quite well calling wrong numbers and making small talk when he hit just the right lady. He did amazingly well getting laid this way.

Note; On Facebook where it says "Messages" there are actually 2 folders. One is "Inbox" the other is "Other". It will not usually indicate that there are messages in that other. Go check yours and see if something has not been sitting there for a long time.

For many years we have catered to singles in the services of dining, travel, & dating. And then for another 18 years we catered to couples & singles who liked having fun with sex in mind.

I can say from first hand experience that quite a few women want a man with money. The money came before the man & up went the divorce rate.(smile)

I don't think this attitude has as much to do with society as with the attitude of the individual.

My own observations agree with history of women needing strong men to protect and support them but to be fair I have spent considerble hours researching sites to validate your position . Nothing comes up except one site that states that men and women were once equal in strenth and were equal in role sharing of hunting and protecting themselves. : Even this site states that it a recent and unpopular theory and that role changes occurred around 20,000 to 40,000 years ago. Not 6000 years ago. There are many drawings found from over 28,000 years ago depicting man as a hunter of beasts but not a single drawing showing women hunters. http://articles.philly.com/2007-04-02/news/25241506_1_neanderthals-anthropologists-gathererEven today female animals mate with the strongest bull in the heard and the alpha male forms a harum while weaker bulls live alone. Recent DNA tests have shown that even animals that mate for life are not manogamous and that the female will often seek out a mate stronger and more dominate than her own mate for reproduction of her offspring and then return to her own mate after breeding is accomplished. That still happens with some women today when some women decide that hubby may not be the best source of DNA for her children. 

My own observations indeed support that many women are still hard wired to seek strong and dominant men to protect them. That was still a  very desirable trait in a man untill just 200 years ago here and still was or is in our far north less than 50 years ago in remote northern areas. You don't have to look far to see who attracts the most women at a dance or any where and it is isn't the brainy nice guy geek that gets the woman. A handsome macho body builder can be as dumb as shit but still get laid and the intelligent and nice guy geek gets treated like he has a disease. Only in the last 3 generations and mostly in the last two generations have many women become independant enough to be on their own as equals in the work force and at home. There were always a few women that were independant in the last 150 years but they were not the norm. It wasn't untill legislation changes in the late 1960's that a single woman could get a morgage or a car loan because before that  her income was only rated at 25% of a family income for mortage  purposes while her husbands or a single man's income was rated at 100%. Of course they were conditioned for centuries that they need a strong man to take care of them and in many countries that is still valid.  You can't change that in a few generations. 

" The Caveman day " Did you take anthropology?? Or is this dirived from concocked CRAP from Hollywood ? Ok ..... so they find the bones of cavemen. Bones tell alot: age, height, weight, diseases, lifestyle.  Soooo to dispell the myths ( or more like Hollywood fantasy ) . Caveman: women were more like Russian Bubushkas ( strong, muscular ) man & woman realatively close in height & strength .... with man only slightly stronger. Communal living & shared responsability of taking care of the children. It appeared to be more age related as to who went out hunting/gathering & NOT divided roles based on sex. Only in the last 6-7 thousand years did this develop. I am astounded with the " street education " that wants to explain modern  sex roles, females preference today for dating a certain TYPE  of man ..... as " hard wired " or in " the genes " from caveman days.  Totally bull. Tarzan & Jane could NOT be further from the truth.

You have discovered that secret to a successful, happy and enduring marriage. Where do kids fit in this simple world?

This is not that complicated. Women are hard wired to expect men to take care of them. In the caveman days, that meant a man who could go out hunting and bring back food that would sustain her and her brood. It gauranteed continuence of the species.

In today's modern world, that hard wiring is still working somewhere in the background. Men grudgingly call this "golddigging" when in fact, women are reacting to something they have no control over.

I always laugh when I see things like this. At the end of the day, we are animals. We want/need food, shelter, sex (not necessarily in that order).

Men are not that hard to understand or please. I have learned early on in my life that to make a man happy all you need is to give him  good meals, consistent sexual adventures and a listening ear (plus a few other minor bells and whistles). Oh, arrange the odd FFM for him in between. Guys love that shit and will think you are the cats ass for letting it happen.

I have seen all of those and have been some of them. Yes the fairytale relationship does happen but sadly

 if your in one you are most likely living in ignorant bliss. That is great as long as you stay ignorant

 and just enjoy the ride. Ignorance can be bliss and reality too often realy sucks and not in a good way.

Why Do Women Treat Some Men Like Kings and Other Men like Whores?

Unfortunately,if you are a man in today’s society, money is the root to all evil. Women are seeking stability and someone to endure the financial burden. Therefore, if you don’t make a great deal of money, you might be viewed as disposable to women. Not all women are like this, but there are enough gold diggers out there that you might run into a few.

Caroldanny, I couldn't agree more. In fact it literally just happened to us at our first "blind" hotel meet. Last time I do a blind meet anyway, lol. The clubs we attend usually have a Friday night, single men allowed policy, and there's never been a problem that I've seen. BTW, the hotel party thing was a one off by getting invited blind off another forum. If there are more of these type of get togethers, how does one get themselves on the invite list etc.??

The problem is the Clubs that don't lay out the rules for the single men. When they do, there is rarely a problem.

We no lnger go to clubs that do the "Couples Only" thing, mainly because the most obnoxious men you will ever encounter are the married men who feel they are entitled to do as they like. A quick and quiet word will take care of any single men, and we have honestly never had a problem. But the partnered guys, especilly the ones who have had a few drinks, can be a real problem! They just won't listen, think they know it all, and should be able to do as they want as after all, they have a woman you can use! (something I was actually told). Many feel that the rules just don't apply to them.

After close to 30 years of Swinging, we have come to the conclusion that half the partnered men are, to put it bluntly, assholes! So many of the just creep us out!

This argument has been going on for as long as I can remember. I think the biggest opposition began to occur when there seemed to he a HUGE influx of single males into the scene when a lot of the clubs that were formerly couples only, began to allow single men in to some or all events.

It changed something and some felt they were being forced to accept the singles as part of the party whether they liked it or not. It got to the point where at CP/HH there were no longer ANY nights for couples only so no choice was given whereas before there were some nights for couples and some for couples and singles. There was a choice to include or not given what your kink or mood for the night was. I can tell you the atmosphere was different depending on if it was one night or the other.

It's only swinging if it's even-steven tradesies? So. like, when a couple includes a third party for the evening... that's not really swinging?  Or is it that the couple doing sharesies is swinging, but the third party is not a swinger because they didn't bring the equivelant to the table.  By that logic only 4somes, 6somes, 8somes, etc are swingers - all the odd men out (or women) are not.

But wait... What if only half of the couple is interacting with the third party?  That's not exactly even.

And what if that couple consists of two people on opposite ends of the horny spectrum: one asexual person and one carnal person?  Even though that carnal person is in a committed relationship, is he or she not considdered a swinger because he or she doesn't bring the equivelant to the table?

And then there's that whole hard and soft swap option - intercourse = swinger, oral = swinger, handjob = swinger, foot rub = not a swinger... unless that foot fetish results in a happy ending.  I suppose it's the intention more so than the act that makes a swinger.

If a couple regularily attends clubs or parties but never opts to do sharsies... are they not swingers?  Voyerism is every bit as much a sexual component as exhibitionism.

Swinger is really just a label.  You may considder yourself one, or deny / label someone else as one depending upon how you compartmentalize their living arrangements and pursuits.

I like to think of it as simply enjoying being in the swing of things.  I don't label myself.  I'm not a swinger, a dom or sub, a tramp or a vamp.  I'm just me, a highly sexualized woman enjoying myself and the company of others.

Finally-- someone who posted our thoughts completely ! Very well stated Sandra.   If single guys are swingers , then i was a swinger 30 years ago-- just didn't know it ! Swinging is swapping - in order to swap you have to bring someone to the party. Can singles play with swingers-- seems they do .But that does not make them swingers as well.

Sandra said:

I have never viewed singles as swingers. Consider this....virtually every single male would be hard pressed to turn down an opportunity for no strings attached sex. Therefore do we call all single men swingers? I think not. They are guys doing what guys do....LOOK FOR SEX. Any way, any how. They view a swingers club as a shortcut around all the bullshit they encounter at a "regular" club. The mindset is, they know people are there specificially for sex so why not tap into the possibilities. They are not swingers. They are opportunists.

Single women? I have no idea why they would bother given that they can go to ANY club on any night and hook up just as easily or post an ad on numerous sites out there with almost instant and copious results.

IMHO only couples can be labelled 'swingers'. All others are like the extras on a movie set. Background decor that enhances the experience if needed.

 

Ladies (and maybe some gents) for your viewing pleasure, check out this page on Facebook.

https://www.facebook.com/FiftyShadesOfHot

Remember to click on the pictures to get the whole view! Yum!

So many people claim to be in the lifestyle,yet I have yet to hear too many stories of how they became "Swingers" Mine started about &%&% years ago and no I am not saying how long or how old . I was working with a friend up in the a-hole of the elephant (and those that know what I am talking about will know where that is..if not hint turn the map of Ontario sideways and look at it)we just got back from a hard days work installing a crap load of carpets and flooring. Got cleaned up and had some BBQ and a few drinks. Then his wife disappeared into the bedroom and came out with the slinkiest,black see through that I had ever seen. Well lets just say that I woke up, my little monster woke up, and regardless of her husband being there we sure made the night go by quick. Mind you the next day was a little tense 1-because we had another full day of installing flooring and 2-because my buddy seemed to always be watching me. Finally he asked how I enjoyed myself last night, and well lets just say that for a two fingered typist I would be here till May 2-4 typing the story out. Though I did enjoy the "interaction" many more times after that. So tell us , how did you get involved?????